Adoption

Adoption is one option to consider if you find yourself unable to parent right now.It is often overlooked or dismissed. It can be a great choice for you and for your baby. It could mean that you are able to continue on pursuing your dreams and goals without the added responsibility of parenting and without the potential grief of abortion.There is a lot of misinformation about adoption out there that can get in the way of making good, clear decisions. Here are some reasons why people fear adoption and some myths we hear and the reality behind them.

Reality

Adoption is very different from foster care! Adoption is permanent and adoptive families are thoroughly investigated. They will have had home visits and taken courses and programs to ensure they are suitable parents. You have the opportunity to have a say in who you place your child with as well. Of course, life does not come with guarantees for anyone but typically is it not adoptive parents that abuse children.

Reality

Many times women look at a baby as the answer to feeling unloved. We all want to feel loved and you may think, “ Now I will have someone to love me!” In reality this isn’t the case at all. A baby can’t meet any of YOUR emotional needs. Instead you as a mother are there to meet all of your baby’s needs. Parenting is about self­sacrifice and although children often love in return, it is not their role.

Reality

Placing for adoption is hard, and fear of pain and sadness is normal. There will be grief, since there is loss. The good news is that adoption also holds such incredible HOPE!Knowing that your child will grow up in a family that will provide for them can bring joy, and the grief and sadness you feel at first will become less intense as you become more confident that your baby is well cared for.There is more good news! You don’t have to go through any of this process alone! The Pregnancy Resource Center of Saint John can be there for you throughout the decision making process, adoption, and after to help you with any grief you may have. Find out more here.

Reality

They don’t give up their babies. They make an adoption plan and place their children into loving homes. “Giving them up” suggests thoughtless rushed decisions, but in reality, placing a child for adoption is a selfless, careful decision that birth parents make because they want their child to have a better future than they are able to provide.

Reality

It is commendable to have the mindset that you should take responsibility. Placing a child for adoption is not avoiding responsibility. Looking honestly at your ability to provide for your child financially, emotionally and physically and choosing adoption is smart and very responsible. It also isn’t just one decision. It is the beginning of many decisions made by a birth mother. It involves putting the needs of the child, above your own.

Reality

There are different types of adoption and birth mothers have all kinds of rights! Not only do they have a say in who adopts their child, they have the option to play an active role throughout the whole process of adoption.

Reality

Placing your child will likely be one of the most challenging, heart­wrenching choices you will make. Not being able to provide for you child does not make you a bad person, or uncaring or heartless. Making an adoption plan is a way to give your child a better future that you may be able to provide.

Reality

Birthparents and adoptive parents are both real parents. Placing a child for adoption does not erase your biological tie nor does it erase the time you carried and cared for your baby before it was born. It doesn't erase the fact that you gave birth to your child, and made a selfless, challenging decision to give your child a brighter future. Adoption can be a loving decision.

The Pregnancy Resource Center of Saint John provides confidential, unbiased support and quality information as you explore the option of adoption. We have more information on all of your options, including adoption and can provide you with support throughout the process and after your baby is placed with a family.

Book an appointment online or call us at 634-­1867

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